So many things happened. My mind is already too full, to the point that I don't even know which is which and what is what. Broken English again (pardon my stupidity)~

     I've tried to write sooo many times since August 4th. You'll see like 4 to 6 half-finished posts in my draft, dated 3 to 8 August. And yet, being the-random-thinker me, I think that those post are too random to be posted. So I just make this random post as an opening for those random posts over there. 

     Okay, It's been 4 days since I'm officially being a 26 y.o. young lady. Yeah I know, I'm old, and I should act my age. But when i'm thinking back, I think that the "Me"  in these past four days is the most childish version (with an act of egoistic brat as the topping) of me I've ever met. Being emotionally unstable, flirtatious, spendthrift, irresponsible, all those bad trait just appear out of nowhere (or is it just the usual me?). 

     A quarter century is a lot, indeed. And I'm scared. I managed to have reunion with my old insomnia again somehow. So many thought filling up and get stuck in my head now. No, It's not about that certain target that I failed to achieved this year. You don't know which one? Seriously? Should I say it out loud? Okay. So, it's not only about "Getting married in the age of 25" that I failed-not-really-misserably. Cause I do believe that Allah is the best scenario maker. And I have given everything to Him. But it's about those fear, those promises to love myself first that I still can't fulfill. So I still have this ugly thing inside me. This hatred, these what-ifs, these is-it-possibles, these doubts, these unpretty thoughts. I still have to deal with them, somehow or not. (I'm being too negative right now..)

    Soo... let's work harder Gista!! Love yourself first and everything else will fall into line! You're fabulous!! So why don't you just fall in love with yourself? ;)